I've come to the realization that I am becoming cynical and bitter. Instead of feeling happy for my friends when they have success or relationships, I feel resentment and jealousy. I focus on the negative of every situation. I hold grudges and am vengeful. I know this is not healthy and is greatly hindering my progress with treatment for depression/ anxiety.
I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be eaten alive at 1 a.m. by thoughts about exes, or people who have hurt me.
My medication has settled. My body isn't feeling such a backlash to the pills anymore. With this in mind, I'm not all "sunshine and rainbows" all the time anymore like I was during the first few weeks, but there is a significant improvement in my frequency of panic attacks. I truly believe my generalized anxiety and depression will subside once I change my attitude.
So here are a few steps I'm going to take. They are baby steps and might not make sense, but I think they will help me.
1. Stop being negative on social media.
2. Purge stuff from high school, little girl clothes, pictures, letters, anything from the past that promotes a negative feeling.
3. Spend more time outside
4. Stop biting nails.
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