APO

I've written about this before, but I think I need to emphasize how much I love APO. I'm not a theater major, but I still actively participate in the arts at college because theater and music was a big chunk of what I did in high school. Tomorrow they're giving out bids. I think I'm more excited about this than I was for getting a bid for my sorority.
APO saved me from forgetting who I was. When I came to Gannon, I was completely lost. I was heartbroken, overwhelmed, and doomed to a college experience of monotony. Then, by some  miracle, I found myself in Schuster Theatre, huddled on the inside of a washing machine with fake blood running down my legs. Fright Night, Schuster Theatre's Halloween haunted house, was the first night I felt home at Gannon. It's not even because I was performing. It was because I found people scarily similar to myself. People who understood the significance of Sweet Tea and french fries, tumblr, John Green novels, and the phrase "The angels have the phone booth". People who hated people and loved cats. People who had felt lonely and worthless and lost before.  Without really knowing it, these people helped me heal.
I finished stage managing my first show a week ago.  We had a very close knit cast, and we would often tweet funny things that happened during rehearsal. I think these rehearsals, although I complained about them a lot, were one of my favorite memories of my freshmen year.  Being able to just act like a fool and not be judged is such a wonderful feeling.
Next year, I'm living with some APO members as well as Other Mary, a fellow APO pledge and my best friend on campus.  I'm so happy I met Other Mary. I wish I could express how similar we are.  Whenever we hang out we frequently say "Why are we the same person?" I'm excited to share a living space with her, pledge APO with her, and, most importantly, finally get her watching Doctor Who.
When I came to Gannon, I wasn't expecting a lot of things. I wasn't expecting to join a sorority, Phi Sigma Sigma. I wasn't expecting to meet Sean, someone who I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. And I especially wasn't expecting to meet extraordinary friends in APO.  

No Ship Like Friendship

Have you ever thought you were destined to meet certain people? Like, by some miracle of God the stars aligned and you just got lucky and met really perfect people that love you and get all your weirdness and won't abandon you even when you get stressed out and bitchy?

That's kind of how I feel about my friends.

I like to help out with my school's drama fraternity, Alpha Psi Omega. I started way at the beginning of the year when a friend convinced me to help out with a haunted house that the group was hosting.  It. Was. Such. A. Good. Idea. I finally met people who like all the same things as me, have tumblrs, and more importantly, have prime taste in music. For the first time since I came to Gannon, I truly felt at home.  And it's not just because we all have this strange addiction to the internet and love of musical theater.  I think we all get along so well because we've been through the same stuff.  We've all been rejected. We've all felt like we were never good enough.  We've all made stupid mistakes.  There's this girl, Other Mary, who is literally me in every way possible. Not only do we share the same name, major, and obsession with Joseph Gordon Levitt, but we have the same sense of humor and we've been through similar situations.It's kind of scary how similar we are.

Then there's my friends at home. And by "at home" I mean "I see them during the summer" because one lives six hours away from me, one lives near Chicago, one lives in fucking New Zealand and the other two live back in Ohio.

They are probably the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for.  They've always been there for me, even when they're dealing with their own issues.  These are the girls that understand me better than any therapist ever could.  We don't get to see each other much anymore, but when we do get together, it's like we were never apart. I feel incredibly lucky anytime I get to hang out with one of them, even if it's just in the McDonald's parking lot eating a large fry and drinking Sweet Tea.  I don't know how we all found each other and formed this weird group of the Six, but I'm so happy it happened.

"And it's been a long time since I've seen all my old friends/ But I really love  my new friends/ I feel I've known them a long while"

Things That Don't Suck

1. Sean is staying with me during spring break so I get to "live" with him for five days. I hope we don't run out of things to do. I hope we don't get sick of each other.  Things with him are getting really serious, to the point where 1) my mom is letting him stay over for an extended period of time lol what, and 2) I actually can't imagine my life without him and he makes me happier than any other person on the planet. I'm really excited to hang out with him, just the two of us, during Easter break.
2. I have employment at school yay! I got a job writing for Gannon Edge aka I get PAID to blog asdfghjkkl (so what if it's only 2 hours a week money is money).
3. Sorority new member period is ending soon so I will be less stressed.
4. Fringe show is ending soon so I will be less stressed. Remember when I thought it was a good idea to stage manage a show? hahahahah. no.
5. I'm doing better in school than I thought I was. Still not up to par, but good enough to keep my parents from constantly guilt tripping me about my scholarship and how I'm one B- away from losing it.
6. I have multiple job offers for the summer that don't include fast food restaurants. YES.

So this is finally the high point.  Thank God. I've been so stressed lately and feeling anxious about everything.  I just have to survive one more stressful week and then I will be free. I got this.