Thoughts So I Can Sleep At Night

I am a hypocrite because I think I can give people advice, but I can't even help myself.

Counseling every other week isn't working out too well, but if I go every week, I feel annoying or like I have nothing important to say.

Something tells me you're lying to get attention and I really hope that's not true.

I cannot wait until you graduate.

I haven't had a full-blown panic attack since break. I'm due for one.

As much as I hate to admit it, working out IS making me feel a lot better.  Maybe that's why I haven't been panicking.

Even though I'm not experiencing full-on attacks, I still feel unnecessarily anxious and stressed almost constantly.  But isn't this how everyone feels? Am I cured?

Sometimes, I get really sick of gossiping about people because it's making me feel fake and like I'm bringing a lot of toxicity in my life.

I really don't care about anything anymore. The only thing motivating me is my parent's happiness.

I want to hang out with you, but it's late, and I'd rather get sleep.

Am I with you because it's comfortable?

Are you really going to drop your letters?

I'm definitely going to go blind. Literally what is wrong with my eye.

Every time you mention hanging out with her, I feel insanely jealous.  I can't expect you to be alone and miserable when I'm not home, but I still feel like you'll always choose other people over me because that's what you did in high school.

I hate how I can never voice my opinion when I'm here.  I try to stand up for myself or ask for a favor or bring up something you do that's bothering me and I'm walking on eggshells because I'm afraid you'll snap at me and I'll lose my only real close friend here.

I don't think it's normal to miss my mom this much.

I secretly love it when my roommate spends the night at her boyfriend's because I don't have to have that "Are you going to bed? Do you want me to turn the light off? Goodnight" dialogue and I can just do stuff on my own time.

I'm probs going to fail all these exams and speeches fuck

I wish I looked forward to rehearsals and they weren't something I dreaded.

I wish there were more hours in the day.

I lied to my parents about this concert and said a boy was going with us so we'd be protected and I hate myself for it because they do so much for me and I feel like a spoiled little shit.  The one thing I can give them is good grades, and I can't even do that anymore.

I am too young to be this burnt out and unhappy with my life.